Christmas is a time to celebrate for many people – but it can be a challenge for separated parents and their children.

Deciding where your child will spend the Christmas period can be difficult, and you may need some support in coming to an agreement if this results in a dispute.

It’s not uncommon for disputes to arise out of this, as Christmas is often a highly emotional time for separated parents and their families, but there are steps that you can take to get to the bottom of it without harming your relationship with your former partner or cause stress for your child.

What options are available?
Broadly, methods for deciding on child contact arrangements at Christmas are split into three categories:

• Deciding between yourselves
• Supported or alternative dispute resolution (ADR)
• A Court order

Each have their advantages and drawbacks, so the one you choose will depend on a number of factors, including:

• Your timeline and financial resources
• Your relationship with your former partner
• The welfare of your child

It is completely natural to want to move straight to a court order, particularly if you feel that your child’s other parent may act against their best interest.

However, it’s also perfectly possible to achieve a mutually satisfactory outcome that prioritises your child without the Courts – so let’s take a look at how discussion and negotiation can be useful feathers in the cap.

Negotiation and mediation
If you are currently in a dispute about child contact arrangements at Christmas or you may face on, you may have already tried to decide between yourselves and not reached an agreement.

If this is the case, you might consider supported negotiation, such as through mediation.

This gives you the option to reach an agreement while minimising harm to your relationship with your child’s other parent.

Additionally, mediation is becoming a firm favourite of the family court before it will hear children’s matters, except in extreme cases.

If you file the issue with the family court, you will likely have to go to a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before you can begin the process of getting a court order, giving your reasons if you want to refuse mediation.

Your mediator will give you both the opportunity to discuss your perspectives and encourage you to come to an agreement, such as alternating years or having the child spend Christmas Day with one parent and New Year’s Day with the other.

You can attend private mediation or access it through the family courts.

Additional support and getting a court order
We do acknowledge that mediation isn’t always effective, particularly in cases where one parent is not cooperative or there is no practical way of a compromise.

In this situation, you may consider family arbitration, which offers a similar presentation of viewpoints to mediation, but an arbitrator will make a binding resolution by which both parents must abide.

You can also apply to the family court for a Specific Issue Order if you cannot make a decision – however, the family courts are unlikely to prioritise disputes over Christmas arrangements as they are facing a significant backlog.

It is best to consider other methods of dispute resolution and discussion before you file for an order with the court.

Whatever route you choose, the most important thing is to prioritise the needs of your child and engage in open, transparent communication.

For support with child arrangements at Christmas, please contact the Family Law team at Palmers Solicitors.

By Karen Bishop, Head of Family Law, Palmers Solicitors